The etnies Zorchwest Tour
As the waitress brought me my beer I heard a voice to my left:
“You’re not from around here are you?”
“No.” I said back... annoyed.
I stared awkwardly at my beer for a minute. I was trying to figure out what was giving me away. It was driving me nuts. What did I do? Was it something I said?
“What gave me awa … ” I trailed off saying as I turned towards her, a 30-something-year-old heavy-set woman. Visibly drunk, her face was painted like that of a lion. You know, lion print, whiskers, black dot nose—lion.
She just laughed.
The Zorchwest tour started around the idea of, well, being zorched. Heading into the trip everyone was pretty beat. A lot of the guys had been traveling heavily and filming, skating a lot. Some were fresh off nursing some injuries. That, however, is not to say that we weren’t all excited to experience a week of summer in the Pacific Northwest. So Davis Torgerson, Mikey Taylor, Tyler Bledsoe, Devine Calloway, Ryan Sheckler, lens artist Benny Maglinao and even Kansas City’s own Ryan Pearce joined up to see how zorched we could get with a week of demos and rain.
“My face paint isn’t bothering you in the least is it?” She was starting to get irritated how unfazed I was by her makeup.
“Not really, I’m just wondering why you said I’m from out of town.” I said back.
“Well, look around.”
So I looked. The bar was a quiet dive bar. I noticed people laughing, cuddling, high fiving and slamming beers. Nothing weird. I was frustrated and she could sense it. At this point I could also sense people staring and talking about me. The bartender walked over and offered me a free drink. It felt like an act of pity and I started to panic. The women noticed.
“Dude, it’s cause you’re the only man in Seattle’s only Lesbian bar … probably the only man to be in here in a long time.”
She laughed. The bartender laughed. I didn’t really know what to say. That’s kind of a tall order—being the only piece of man this place had seen in a long time. I’m not quite sure I was ready for that pressure.
“You still want that free beer?” The bartender joked, handing me a beer.
“YES!” Seriously. I chugged it as fast I could and got the fuck out of there.
The first part of the tour was a demo and some street skating in Portland—Tyler’s new place of residence. The team did a demo at a new skate plaza while, thanks to Delta Airlines, Ryan Pearce and myself missed because we were stuck in terminal 78 of the Kansas City international airport. Judging from the footage, however, it looked like everyone ripped it up.
The rain was intermittent at this point, held off for the demo but would start right after. This would continue for the rest of the trip. The next day we had a demo down in Salem where sunny skies and our northwest sales rep, Sweaty, greeted us with beer, brats and a great turnout for our demo.
It was also game 7 of the finals and with some Lakers fans in the group; we headed over to Applebee’s to watch Kobe and the rest of the Lakers get crowned as victors. The Californians were hyped, some went hard, some went harder and it made for an interesting van ride back to Portland that night.
I also just want to take this moment to let the world know that I beat Mikey Taylor at bowling. - Sam McGuire
We were spending most of our time in Washington on the trip. We had a demo in Olympia, two demos in Seattle and one of them was to celebrate the ever-so-coveted Go Skateboarding Day with Sweaty and the Goods crew at an awesome skate plaza downtown Seattle.
The rain seemed to be taunting us at this point. It would be pouring rain all day and then an hour before the demo it would stop. About an hour after the demo it would start raining again so, outside of the parks we couldn’t get too much street skating in. Fortunately, this did give us plenty more time to perfect our bowling skills. Yes, bowling alleys are where we spent most of our nights while in Seattle. I also just want to take this moment to let the world know that I beat Mikey Taylor at bowling.
Again, I beat Mikey Taylor at something.
Too Zorched to burn out!
The last day we drove back through Olympia, had our last demo, said our “thank yous” and “goodbyes” to Sweaty and the crew and headed back to Portland to let Tyler have some peace and quiet and so we could also head on our way. Big thanks to everyone that helped us out on the trip: Sweaty and the guys at Goods, Tyler for being a good host and the Seattle area bowling alleys for showing us a good time and finally letting me be better than Mikey at something.
- Zorchwest Tour
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